My Experience with ADHD
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First of all, what does ADHD stands for? Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The hyperactivity can be both physical and/or mental.
Growing up in the '80s in Brazil, just like many other countries, ADHD was not recognized as a mental condition or taken seriously. This is still true in today’s society, but thankfully not as much. I was part of that group of non-believers.
I didn’t take my ADHD seriously until about 10 years ago when my oldest son was diagnosed. It got me thinking of everything I went through in my life and that I would not be able to help him if I didn't study more and take better care of myself. As I started to study it, taking medication and following up with specialists, I learned how to try and control it a little better. Today, I'm happy that my kids will not have to go through the same suffering growing up as I did.
As I said before, there is still a large part of our society that does not believe in the seriousness of ADHD as an actual condition.
That non-belief is extraordinarily prejudicial and traumatizing for those who have it.
"You need to work it through."
"If you focus, you will be able to do this task."
"I know other people with ADHD that don’t do/behave…"
"Everyone has a condition; I can’t accommodate everyone."
You are using this as an excuse.
I used to have ADHD, but I grew out of it.
"I forget things, too. Maybe I have ADHD."
"If you try harder, you will be able to..."
The above quotes are a few of the many examples people with ADHD hear throughout the course of their lives. I heard them all from friends, family, co-workers and a few managers. All of it is because of the lack of information/interest in the condition and getting educated when dealing with people in this group.
To make an analogy for the non-neurodivergent, ADHD brain is like a Ferrari with bicycle breaks.
There is no growing out of it; the reality is that if you thought you had it as a kid and you grew out of it, it is inevitable that you never had it to begin with.
There are seven identifiable types of ADHD and different treatments for each one, depending on which one or which mix you may have. The more we raise awareness, the better everyone will be.
- Creativity, out-of-the-box thinking
- Thriving in crises
- Hyperfocus
There are many positive traits of an ADHD brain (or else I would not refer to it as a Ferrari).
ADHD may make you feel alone even when you are surrounded by people. Anxiety, autism, depression, PTSD and many other co-morbid conditions may come along with it; ADHD does not like to be alone.
I have anxiety and major depression as my co-morbid, and more than 80% of adults with ADHD have some sort of trauma and/or co-morbid condition to go with it.
Besides medication and following up with specialists, the person with ADHD needs to have his/her routine, calendars, reminders and "rituals" to function correctly. I am constantly surrounded by sticky notes, calendars and different alarms. Yet, from time to time, I still miss a meeting here or there because I get focused on resolving an issue or reviewing a contract, forget to take my lunch or eat breakfast, and so on.
If you are reading this and thinking, Why is he exposing himself to sharing all this? Did I mention that oversharing is also one of the traits? Joke aside, YOU, dear reader, may be the reason why. You may have someone with ADHD in your life and, in some instances, it may seem difficult. You can be sure that for the other person, it is much more difficult as the frustration is more significant because it’s beyond the person’s control. Maybe you have the same condition, and I hope that by reading this, you will not feel alone.
There is still a stigma around this; people see this as a weakness and are embarrassed/ashamed by it. I felt like that, too, until I understood that it will always be part of who I am, and it impacts my interactions with other people.
Once I had this epiphany, I started to bring the conversation out in the open. This helped me know myself better, share experiences with other people in the same situation and, more importantly, it gave (and still gives) me the experience to be able to help my kids, family, friends and co-workers who either live with it or have someone in their life who may have it.
Knowing my condition empowered me to own it, name it (my dark passenger) and even, on some occasions, be able to laugh at myself when I see memes and jokes like the one below. And then I don’t feel as alone.
I love my ADHD brain; it makes me who I am
As December 3 is International Day for People With Disabilities, I find this to be the perfect opportunity to launch this topic; for those who are neurodivergent, this is something they live with for the whole year.
I am usually very direct and don’t say something unless I mean it. I started in the corporate world over two decades ago, and Sodexo is the only company I’ve been at that truly practices what other companies only preach.
If you have already been diagnosed, don’t feel embarrassed; embrace it, as you have an exceptional brain that is full of potential! If you have someone in your life with it and you’d like to hear another perspective, or for those of you who may want to learn more about it, please don’t be shy; feel free to reach out to me.
I am not a medical professional. My first recommendation is always to get correctly diagnosed as a first step. Sharing my experiences also allows me to learn from other people’s experiences as well.
Your ADHD does not define you; it is part of you. Own it, love to hate it and hate to love it, and, above all, do not feel embarrassed or a lesser person for it. You have a fantastic brain.
For those who would like to learn more, there are many sites and videos on YouTube of people sharing their experiences, as well as specialists. Also, check out ADDitude, one of my favorite sites that discuss the topic of ADHD.